UK Busy Trying to Polish a Turd
I thought the phrase “you can’t polish a turd” originated with the British or US Navy. For you non-native English speakers, it means that you cannot improve something which is inherently or unalterably unpleasant or of poor quality. After doing additional research, one of the earliest recorded uses is attributed to Geoffrey Stokes in his 1977 book Star-Making Machinery: Inside the Business of Rock and Roll, where it is used in the context of music production. The phrase gained popularity and became widely recognized in various contexts, often used humorously to describe futile efforts to improve something fundamentally flawed. That summarizes Keir Starmer’s meeting on Thursday with Donald Trump.
Here is how the British media portrayed the results of the meeting.
Sir Keir Starmer won concessions from President Trump on trade and British plans to return the Chagos Islands to Mauritius but failed to extract key commitments from the president on the future of Ukraine.
After more than two hours of talks in the White House, the prime minister said that they were working on a “new economic deal”, which the president said could happen “very quickly”.
The Guardian:
During highly anticipated talks at the White House with the prime minister, Keir Starmer, the US president said that Putin could be trusted not to breach any agreement, which could aim to return as much of the land as possible to Ukraine that was seized by Russia during the brutal three-year conflict.
But, sitting alongside Starmer in the Oval Office taking questions from journalists, Trump refused to commit to deploying US forces to support a European-led peacekeeping force, although he said the US would “always” help the British military in the unlikely event it needed it.
He later indicated the US would make “great trade agreements” with the UK that could progress “very quickly”, adding that Starmer had tried to persuade him against imposing tariffs, saying: “He earned whatever the hell they pay him over there.”
The US president also appeared to make a significant concession on the Chagos Islands, saying that he was “inclined” to back the deal struck by Starmer, who at the talks delivered a letter from King Charles offering Trump an unprecedented second state visit.
Donald Trump said he is working on a trade deal with the UK and suggested that Britain could escape tariffs if the countries secure one, but the allies failed to agree on US security guarantees for Ukraine.
During a warm joint press conference at the White House on Thursday, the US president said his UK counterpart Sir Keir Starmer was “working very hard” to persuade him not to impose tariffs on Britain. . . .
The meeting between Trump and Starmer, which was focused on securing a peace deal for the war in Ukraine, came days after French President Emmanuel Macron visited the White House for similar discussions.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy will meet Trump in Washington on Friday, with signs of a thawing in their relationship. When asked about previously referring to Zelenskyy as a “dictator”, Trump said: “Did I say that?”
European leaders have urged Trump to provide military cover for any peacekeeping mission in Ukraine. But on Thursday, Trump said the US would not need to provide such a “backstop” since Americans working on a proposed minerals deal with Kyiv would serve as a deterrent against possible Russian attacks.
President Donald Trump complimented Sir Keir Starmer on his ‘beautiful accent’ in the White House while refusing to apologize for calling Volodymyr Zelensky a dictator.
Trump gave the Prime Minister the bizarre compliment after Sir Keir said the UK looks forward to welcoming him for what would be an ‘unprecedented’ second state visit.
Sir Keir contradicted both Trump – by saying European countries would not be repaid their Ukraine support – and his vice president JD Vance – by saying the UK was proud of its tradition of free speech – with little pushback from either.
Trump jokingly asked the PM: ‘Could you take on Russia by yourselves?’ – Sir Keir muttered ‘well’, and laughed
Daily Mail:
But Sir Keir failed to get the comprehensive US security ‘backstop’ he is seeking before committing thousands of British troops to keep the peace in Ukraine if a truce is agreed.
The PM told Mr Trump that American might was needed to guarantee a ‘lasting peace’. But the President was ambiguous about what, if anything, he was willing to provide. He said the British ‘don’t need help’ militarily and suggested that Vladimir Putin could be trusted to stick to the terms of any peace deal.
Pushed on whether the US would intervene if Russian forces attacked British troops, he added: ‘I’ve always cared about the British. They don’t need much help… They can take care of themselves…’
It has been expected that Sir Keir would use their meetings to push the president on providing security protections for Kyiv in the event of a peace deal being secured to deter Vladimir Putin from launching another attack.
Ahead of Thursday’s talks, Trump had said that he would not provide guarantees “beyond very much” and has insisted it is for Europeans to protect Ukraine.
Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky is expected at the White House on Friday to sign a deal that will give the US access to Ukraine’s rare earth mineral resources, which Trump has now described as a “backstop”.
He told reporters: “It’s a backstop, you could say, I don’t think anybody’s going to play around if we’re there with a lot of workers and having to do with rare earths and other things which we need for our country.”
Sir Keir has already said he is prepared to deploy British troops as part of a force to safeguard any peace deal, but only if the US offers security guarantees to European soldiers.
Asked if the US would aid British peacekeepers if they were attacked by Russia, Trump said: “I’ve always found about the British, they don’t need much help … they can take care of themselves.”
Keir Starmer headed to the White House prepared for a tough meeting with Donald Trump after the President’s recent rants about Ukraine, but he tamed the beast with charm rather than confrontation.
The PM and US leader enjoyed a warm exchange when they got together in Washington yesterday to discuss a peace deal in Volodymyr Zelensky’s war-ravaged country. Mr Trump hailed Mr Starmer as a “tough negotiator” after talks on a range of issues. . . .
The PM had been hoping to urge Mr Trump to provide a security “backstop” to any peacekeeping forces in Ukraine post-agreement and said Britain was “ready to put boots on the ground” there to back a deal.
The President stopped short of offering that but insisted any rare minerals deal he signs with Mr Zelensky will be security in itself. Mr Trump also insisted he would come to the aid of British forces if they are attacked by Russia as part of a peacekeeping force.
He even insisted he would help Ukraine regain land lost after Vladimir Putin’s full-scale invasion started three years ago – despite recently suggesting the Moscow maniac could keep what he had already occupied. And with Mr Starmer at his side, Mr Trump also softened his views on Mr Zelensky – who he is due to meet in the White House today – after he branded him a “dictator” recently. He said: “Did I say that? I can’t believe I said that.”
The Sun:
DONALD Trump last night vowed to always stand with Britain’s troops — as he gave PM Sir Keir Starmer a boost by appearing to back his controversial Chagos deal.
The two biggest potential headaches faced by the PM were whether the President would agree to be a “backstop” for the Ukraine deal, and No 10’s plan to hand Chagos over to Mauritius. . . .
Mr Trump stopped short of pledging US airpower to protect a European peacekeeping force for Ukraine.
But he insisted the US would come to Britain’s aid if needed. On the Chagos deal, he said he was “inclined to go along with” the plan.
Got the picture? The Brits are spinning the hell out of this meeting, claiming Starmer, charmed the pants off of Trump. I take a different view — Trump was blowing so much smoke up Starmer’s ass that I’m surprised the DC Fire Department was not called to the White House. Starmer’s key objective, one hatched in concert with Macron, was to get Trump to back their promised deployment of troops to Ukraine with American muscle. Trump, being unusually polite, left Starmer to steam in his own juices… No deal.
Truth of the matter is that the Brits were giddy over Trump’s apparent decision to not impose tariffs on British exports to the US. Here’s a list of the key products:
Cars: This is consistently one of the top exports, valued at $6.59 billion in 20233 and $8.66 billion in 2023.
Machinery and mechanical appliances: This category, which includes gas turbines, was the largest export sector in 2023, valued at $15.17 billion.
Pharmaceutical products: These were valued at $8.09 billion in 20234, with packaged medicaments being a significant component at $3.42 billion in 2023.
Chemical products: Nitrogen heterocyclic compounds were a top export in November 2024, valued at £430 million for that month alone.
Refined petroleum: This was among the top exports in November 2024, valued at £153 million for that month.
Optical, photo, technical, and medical apparatus: These exports were valued at $5.06 billion in 2023.
Organic chemicals: This category accounted for $5.00 billion in exports during 2023.
Precious metals and stones: This sector, including gold, accounted for $4.44 billion in exports in 2023.
The UK would be screwed if Trump imposed tariffs on British exports. The UK, although it ranks number nine among US trading partners, is dwarfed by US trade with Mexico, China and Canada. Trump was doing Starmer a favor. Yes, the UK has dodged the tariff-bullet, for now at least. But this does not mean that the UK’s economy is on solid footing. Just the opposite. The British economy is struggling to grow after a period of stagnation. In the fourth quarter of 2024, the UK economy grew by 0.1%, following zero growth in the third quarter. Hell, that could be just a statistical error.
What can we expect from Trump’s meeting with Zelensky? I think the smoke-up-the-ass machine will be turned on high. But, when the meeting ends, Zelensky will not have security guarantees nor a promise of more free dough from the United States.
Jeez, Larry - that was mighty hard work getting to the punchline, having to wade through all that MBE. However you demonstrate beyond any reasonable doubt just how much of an orchestra of stenography and spin the British media have become. Sadly, this is also an international phenomenon.
Whatever one thinks of Trump, his open and crude discussion of rare earths and the more general issue of "what's in it for us" has lifted the lid on all the squalid profiteering and effective neo-colonialism driving the self-righteous posturing moralists of Europe.
You may have noticed that the recent clip of Boris Johnson's latest bovine scatology shows him on a platform hosted by something called the Victor Pinchuk Foundation. Pinchuk is a London resident Ukrainian oligarch who very early aligned his interests with those of the West. He seems to be able to operate with relative impunity and schmoozes with the grating and not very good:
https://pinchukfund.org/en/
Ordinary Ukrainians, who were already heartily sick of the corrupt oligarchs before the special military operation, will be delighted to see that the collective West (or at least now the European branch of that) is in cahoots with some of their old favourites.
My Dad used to have a great saying: You can paint a turd yellow, and it will look like a banana, but when you bite into it, its still a turd. I don't think the Brits brought enough yellow paint.
I cannot imagine a universe where Starmer giving away Diego Garcia, only to lease it back for an exorbitant amount would strike Trump as anything but a "terrible deal". Apparently, Starmer's negotiations on that lease are so bad that the price has now gone UP, lol.
Alex Christoforou showed a clip of Starmer & Trump at the WH where Starmer was babbling about the Brits unbreakable relationship with Canada - I've thought all along this talk about Canada becoming the 51st state really is about breaking that relationship with the Crown (amongst other reasons).
I'm getting the impression that Trump & Team have decided they will no longer allow the US to be the bite suit, nor the attack dog, for Europe any longer - especially for the Brits (pay attention, Poland). Starmer seems to have been the butt of an string of jokes while he was at the WH, from both Trump and Vance; is he bright enough to figure that out?